Dear 公公,

Just weeks ago on our way to the ward to visit you, Mother asked me, "When did you start getting so close to Gong Gong? You've always been afraid of him as a child". True enough, I remember being really afraid of you when I was little. I remember approaching you from the front door of your flat very slowly and reluctantly while thinking of possible reasons why I did not attain a first or second place in class. You demand standards. 

Back in September last year, Uncle Jacob bought your favourite Siew Mai from Tiong Bahru. You questioned, "How much?" "80cents for one Siew Mai" You then exclaimed, "So expensive! I used to pay 30cents for one Siew Mai from Bukit Batok". You are frugal.

I have always been very pushy about wanting you to remember my name. One day, I wrote my Chinese name on a piece of paper and pasted it on the wall behind you. And every single time I come to visit, I'd ask you if you remember my name and if you didn't, I'd remind you and then a minute later, ask you again. I am annoying and you are patient.

Once, Popo was walking out of the kitchen while Mini (your helper) was helping you with your medicine. You took the cup of water and pills from Mini's hands and signalled her to help Popo from the kitchen instead. You put others before self. 

Even when you were very ill and weak, you'd throw a minor fit whenever we try to help you get up; feed you; or cut the meat and vegetables up into smaller bite sizes. You are a fighter.

Mother left for Italy on the 30th last month and you promised to wait for her. And you did. She returned from her business trip late in the afternoon and you stayed up till 2341hrs. You are a man of your word.

And we have learnt so much from you.

At 97, you are so blessed to be able to live up to see 4 of your great-grandchildren. You are so blessed to be spared from tubes and other heavy equipment to help one survive or prolong his life. You are so blessed to be able to possess perfect eyesight until your final day. You are so blessed to be able to have so many people who love you so much. But most of all, Gong Gong, you're so blessed to return to your Maker in Heaven. 

Thank you for telling us so many interesting stories of your past- experiencing WWII as a warden; your first girlfriend at 12/13 years old; the 200 chickens you used to have on your farm; remembering Uncle Joseph as a smart boy who achieved awards in school etc. 

A friend asked me some weeks ago, "What do you feel? Fear? Worry? Or regret?" 

Fear. That I'll miss you too much. I know I will.

I will always think of you, Gong Gong. When I'm enjoying red bean potong; when I visit Popo at 103; when I see others’ grandfathers in public; when I am just about to sleep... I will always think of you. 

You fought hard, 公公. I’m so happy you are finally going home to see your grandparents, parents, your son Uncle Joseph and all your kampong friends who did not live up to 97 like you did! I can imagine them applauding you as you walk through the gates of Heaven. I can't wait to enjoy red bean potong with you again someday.

Rest in Peace, 公公.

范瑞琪