A Eulogy to Our Fighter

Good morning everyone. The eulogy will be in English. I am Rebecca, and before I start talking about 公公, on behalf of the family, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone present today for coming to attend 公公's funeral mass.

公公 was an incredible man. It is impossible to summarise how great a person he was in words but when I think about him, the words that come to mind are strong, dependable, selfless, respectful, frugal and presentable. 

I remember very clearly how 公公 looked when he was admitted last September. I remember Daddy telling us to spend more time with 公公 because his time was near. For some reason, I did not take that seriously because I just had a really strong feeling he was going to be alright. True enough, a few weeks later and a huge surprise to many, 公公 was strong and able again. And for the next 7-8 months, he managed to live the life he wanted- he did not have to know if he had any illness; he did not live like a sick person. He chose not to know, and so he lived. Until his health started to decline from 22nd March this year.

The past 1.5 months have been really tiring for 公公, but he never once gave up. During the last few days of his life, he still fought hard. He was in pain but all he did was grimace or punch the bed with clenched fists. We knew for sure that he was in pain but he never once admitted it. If I had to summarise 公公 in a short sentence, it'd be that he was a very strong man.

I'm not sure about you, but I'm pretty sure I'll think of 公公 and how he'd want me to keep fighting during tough times in future. Because that's what he would do; because that's what he would want us to do.

So 公公, on behalf of every one of us here, I just want to tell you how very very proud of you we all are. You are truly amazing and we will definitely miss you very dearly. Don't you worry about Popo and Aunt Lucy- just like how you were a man of your word, we will keep our promise to take good care of them in your absence.

Rest in eternal peace, 公公. It is going to take us some time to get used to not having you around but we will meet again.

Dear 公公,

Just weeks ago on our way to the ward to visit you, Mother asked me, "When did you start getting so close to Gong Gong? You've always been afraid of him as a child". True enough, I remember being really afraid of you when I was little. I remember approaching you from the front door of your flat very slowly and reluctantly while thinking of possible reasons why I did not attain a first or second place in class. You demand standards. 

Back in September last year, Uncle Jacob bought your favourite Siew Mai from Tiong Bahru. You questioned, "How much?" "80cents for one Siew Mai" You then exclaimed, "So expensive! I used to pay 30cents for one Siew Mai from Bukit Batok". You are frugal.

I have always been very pushy about wanting you to remember my name. One day, I wrote my Chinese name on a piece of paper and pasted it on the wall behind you. And every single time I come to visit, I'd ask you if you remember my name and if you didn't, I'd remind you and then a minute later, ask you again. I am annoying and you are patient.

Once, Popo was walking out of the kitchen while Mini (your helper) was helping you with your medicine. You took the cup of water and pills from Mini's hands and signalled her to help Popo from the kitchen instead. You put others before self. 

Even when you were very ill and weak, you'd throw a minor fit whenever we try to help you get up; feed you; or cut the meat and vegetables up into smaller bite sizes. You are a fighter.

Mother left for Italy on the 30th last month and you promised to wait for her. And you did. She returned from her business trip late in the afternoon and you stayed up till 2341hrs. You are a man of your word.

And we have learnt so much from you.

At 97, you are so blessed to be able to live up to see 4 of your great-grandchildren. You are so blessed to be spared from tubes and other heavy equipment to help one survive or prolong his life. You are so blessed to be able to possess perfect eyesight until your final day. You are so blessed to be able to have so many people who love you so much. But most of all, Gong Gong, you're so blessed to return to your Maker in Heaven. 

Thank you for telling us so many interesting stories of your past- experiencing WWII as a warden; your first girlfriend at 12/13 years old; the 200 chickens you used to have on your farm; remembering Uncle Joseph as a smart boy who achieved awards in school etc. 

A friend asked me some weeks ago, "What do you feel? Fear? Worry? Or regret?" 

Fear. That I'll miss you too much. I know I will.

I will always think of you, Gong Gong. When I'm enjoying red bean potong; when I visit Popo at 103; when I see others’ grandfathers in public; when I am just about to sleep... I will always think of you. 

You fought hard, 公公. I’m so happy you are finally going home to see your grandparents, parents, your son Uncle Joseph and all your kampong friends who did not live up to 97 like you did! I can imagine them applauding you as you walk through the gates of Heaven. I can't wait to enjoy red bean potong with you again someday.

Rest in Peace, 公公.

范瑞琪