R

2012-02-09T01:38:00.000+08:00

Valentine

Who needs a Valentine when Karcher's here to suck your floor clean?

0900AM-1100AM: Went for Marketing Communications presentation
1200PM: Lunched at home
1230PM-430PM: Took a long nap
430PM-630PM: Did the laundry
630PM-700PM: Vacuumed the house with Karcher
700PM-730PM: Washed the dishes
730PM: Washed the toilet while showering
800PM: Prepared dinner

I have never done so much housework before. I hope the new maid comes real soon.. The maid agency is taking way too long to send her over. The family has been struggling for more than a month now.. Anyway, Karcher has been such a great help. I love how Karcher sucks all the dust and dirt off the floor so quickly and well. I have never liked brooms and dustpans.. They can't do the wonders Karcher can. I love vacuum cleaners and it'll be the first thing to get for my own home in future.

It's finally Thursday! The past two weeks have been really hectic and tiring.. I'm so glad I've come this far! One final presentation on Friday, two papers on the 16th and 20th before freedom greets me with open arms! I can totally do this..

2012-01-29T00:43:00.005+08:00

Happy 52nd Birthday Mama

Each year I'm extra happy on your birthday;
Your day reminds me of God's gift to me--
A Mom who gave her all to raise me,
A Mom like the one I want to be.

2012-01-27T13:35:00.002+08:00

Pat!

I have been working very hard.

2012-01-26T10:43:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah

2nd A awarded this month! First one was for the BMM presentation.. More As please! 25 more days to freedom.. My toes are wiggling in excitement!

2012-01-21T13:23:00.001+08:00

Miss you..

2012-01-20T01:58:00.005+08:00

Yes! Woman

I CAN DO THIS,

YES I CAN

I love having to wake up early in the morning, get dressed for and drag my heels to school. I love turning in superdupermegaultra late. I love long tutorials and my overly concerned lecturers. I love doing fucked up manual work on SPSS. I love past year exam papers and the fact that lecturers won't repeat those questions. I love mugging and burning midnight oil(tanks) for written tests and exams. I love doing and rushing projects. I love nearing deadlines. I love all that I hate. I love, I love, I loooooooove! Muah!

Fuck my life.

2012-01-18T00:53:00.001+08:00

More Dressing, Please?

I've been very busy.. But I feel a strong need to share this.

Becca: Hi.. Can I have the BK Chicken Meal?
Stupid Mat Rep: Cannot
Becca: Ok. I would like the BK Chicken Meal.
Stupid Mat Rep: Upsie? (Upsize?)
Becca: Yup.. Coke. And onion rings. More dressing in my burger please.
Stupid Mat Rep: Ah?
Becca: More dressing..
Stupid Mat Rep: You want me to wrap one more layer paper for your burger?
Becca: No. As in more dressing.. The sauce. The mayo or whatever.

Wrap one more layer paper for my burger.. That sure made my day. I hope this post made your day too.

2012-01-04T18:28:00.000+08:00

Close to Death

Goodbye my friends! Till we meet again on the 20th of February!

2012-01-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

(Just) Another Year

A new year allows so much more leeway for one to reflect and express.. But my mind's a blank. Besides posting a picture of sometwo who mean the world to me, I don't know how else to invite a new year. But anyhow..

Here's to a better year ahead of everyone!

With lots of love,
Becca

2011-12-30T01:29:00.002+08:00

I hope everyone will respect my decision.

2011-12-29T16:21:00.000+08:00

Beckah Bec's Back!

I'll start with the short getaway to Korea.. Besides rubbing our gloved palms together, having heat pads pasted all over our bodies and standing real close to the gigantic heaters, I'm sure everyone had great fun in Korea. It really is beautiful. But seriously, it was freezing in Korea. I remember it was -6°C the first day we got there! Plus, the strong wind made it even more unbearable.

i. Kimchi

I wasn't really interested in learning how to make kimchi only because I am not a big fan of kimchi.. I honestly prefer buttered brocolli. But the short lesson turned out to be pretty fun. I personally love the part where we had to smear chilli paste on and over the layers of kimchi.. So fun and exciting, just like painting. Anyway, kimchi stinks. Oh by the way, I never thought I'd look this good in an apron. I'm all ready to marry bahaha!

ii. Hanbok (Traditional Korean Costume)

I got really pissed here.. The Hanboks came in a wide range of colors but none of them appealed to me. All of them were in weird and ugly color combinations.. So we were made to queue up and despite being told to give me a Hanbok of the nicest color, the lady gave me the ugliest Hanbok. Look at the color combination of my Hanbok-- Light pink and green.. Seriously?

iii. Some King's Palace

I don't remember anything about this boring place.. Except that the soles of my feet got frozen and numb from the walking in the extreme cold. I cannot say this enough.. Boring place! What's a palace without cute kings and princes!?

iv. Bus Ride

Here are really pretty pictures taken while we were on the bus and on our way to the Teddy Bear Farm.

v. Teddy Bear Farm
Enough said.

vi. Pasar Malam (However else you call it)
So sick! Made me pretty nauseous! We bought a few tempuras and it tasted dirty.

This post is long enough. I'll do the rest soon. Actually, I'm lazy. Have a great week ahead!

2011-12-25T15:23:00.003+08:00

Anyoung, my fellow friends!

2011-12-16T13:07:00.003+08:00

Aunty Anggit

TO: REBECCA FANG LUI CHI

Firsly, I am want to say thank you very much for you. For everytings you do for me. First time Aunty came here you very good with me. You is my spirit. That time when Aunty remember famili, Aunty always remember Becca. Very good with me. So Aunty can strong to working. You also understanding. You also same time give me food to eat- Thank you. I know you really truly good girl. You always help me when Reena naughty. I know Reena actually very good girl, but same time she naughty. Nevermind Aunty not angry.

I am so sorry from bottom of my heart because I am make you sad, Aunty can't take care your clothes with good. I know you very very love the dress grey colour but Aunty can't take care. I am sorry Becca. I am sorry if Aunty can't take care you with good. I am sorry if Aunty always make mistake with you and family. Really truly not from my heart do wrong or bad. Forgive me please?! Aunty also thank you for this family because this family take care me in here (singapore). I don't have any family if not this family. Thank you Mum, Sir, Rebecca, Rachel and Reena.

I am sorry Aunty can't give anyting for you Becca. Actually I am want give you anyting to memory. But how?? Aunty just pray for you, you success in you future, always pretty, always good girl. You can get your ideal guys, I hope you get the best for you and really truly love you and what you want come true. AMIN. I hope God protect you and family from danger when go holiday and came back safe and sound. Enjoy fun and happy. AMIN!!!

I hope you really truly want to learn sembahyang. Aunty very happy when you say you want to learn sembahyang. Spirit spirit!!! You pretty and you have beautiful heart I hope you don't change okay. You Rebecca is Rebecca. Pretty girl with beautiful heart.

Thank you you always want share food with me. Thank you. Thank you for everyting you do for me. Always study hard okay!!! Love you Becca... Merry Christmas and happy new year!!! Happy Holiday!! Bye-bye! Don't forget me!!! Take good care of you okay!!! BYE-BYE

Love,
Aunty
(Anggit Gudiarti)

Dear Aunty Anggit

In the blink of an eye, your contract of 2 years has ended and you are about to return back home. I don't know how to face this.. You have taken such good care of the family thus far and I cannot imagine life without you.

How you'd wake me up for school every morning. How you'd call me when I'm having lessons in school just to ask me if I'll be coming home for dinner. How you'd know just how much milk to put in my milo. How you'd know how much I hate soup and would fill just half a bowl whenever Ma tells you to bring a bowl for me. How you'd know when to switch on the heater. How you'd know what kind of bras I feel most comfortable in. How you'd know how much nutella and peanut butter I want in my bread. How you'd know how much butter I want with chicken floss. How you'd make a wide variety of pretty sushi for me to bring to school. How you'd know I do not eat pork and would warn me of dishes which are not halal. How you'd know where to place my belongings. How you'd know when the buttons of my shorts fall off and you'd sew them back on for me. How you'd know when I am feeling down and about to cry. How you'd know when I'd want a glass of iced milk tea. How you'd know how I want my eggs done. The list is endless.. My life will suck without you.

I have grown emotionally attached to you and I really hate to bid you goodbye. But its time for you to return to your family. We will miss you as much as your family has missed you all this while. I hope you marry a good man who will take very good care of you. And do make sure he does not ill-treat you or we will make him pay when we visit you at your hometown next June. Please sleep in my soccer jersey once in a while. And please do not forget me because I will never forget you.

Aunty, I love you with every beat of my heart. You are and will always be the best. We have never been so blessed with such a great domestic helper until you came along. I wish you happiness and I hope you'll live well in the future. I will miss you dearly. Saya sayang banget sama kamu dan saya akan kangen banget sama kamu.

Love,
Becca

2011-12-15T03:06:00.000+08:00

Apples For Free

Pa bought two cartons of apples back home two weeks ago.. Seems like Pa overestimated the family's love for apples. We have been trying to finish up the apples before taking off for Korea on Saturday but everyone's getting pretty sick of them.. A classmate dropped by to pick up a stack of surveys from the Marketing Research we have been working on and Ma made me give him half a dozen of apples for his family. Anyone else??

Time check! 3AM sharp. I'll be sitting for the EBA paper in 10 hours. Rachel's birthday at Sentosa in 15 hours. Seoul in 35 hours!

Oh! Life has been good..

2011-12-13T13:41:00.000+08:00

Do NOT take me for granted. I'll be gone.

2011-12-10T02:04:00.003+08:00

Read Stories Once and Only Once

I can face them now
I am the right eye
You must be the left
The end starts to make way
Enlightenment is not the way to happiness
Happiness is the way

I will wright a new stronger story

2011-12-09T02:37:00.001+08:00

Happy Pills

With good company, Heineken and Vodka, Thursday night ended well. EBA presentation tomorrow afternoon, followed by work on a Friday night with Diggy at Island Bar.. Hope all goes well to sweep in a good weekend. However, I am dreading Sunday.. We're gonna have to make 150 customers of telecommunication service providers like Starhub and Singtel complete a few pages of survey questions for the Marketing Research project. Here's praying for nice Singaporeans to spare a few minutes of their time to help us out! Half of my final semester in school is over. Gotta press on for 2 months or so before I graduate and work towards my dream!

There won't be school next week since it's the Common Test week.. And I have just one paper to sit for next Thursday afternoon before Rachel Yeow's 21st at Sentosa and then 8 days in Korea on Saturday.

Life has been good. And I believe that it will only get better. Because Diggy says, "Like wine, you will get better with time."

2011-12-08T12:11:00.000+08:00

Wednesday started off pretty badly.

But it ended well.

2011-12-06T15:50:00.001+08:00

Who do you take me for?

2011-12-04T10:26:00.000+08:00

Wish I Could Do More

Happy Birthday.

2011-12-03T00:42:00.000+08:00

I survived another Friday night at work! I almost died though.

The family and our relatives went shopping for winter clothes at IMM today.. We'll be going to Korea for 8 days on the 17th this month! We headed to Giant and bought half a trolley of chips thereafter.. And this was what we saw.. Very interesting.

Nowhere to go? Nothing to do? Jackass in Giant! Seriously, Giant can't hold it against me if I was to throw all the fruits and vegetables which I happen to find of poor quality into the bins provided.. I mean, I'm just doing you a favour, Giant.. Great poster!

And this is for your (unnecessary) information only. I love steamed golden and white pomfrets! I was really excited to see pomfrets in the market section of Giant.. Aunty cooked curry chicken, made prata and steamed a pomfret this afternoon. I ate a lot more than usual today.. The time of the month is nearing..

Out damned spot!

2011-12-01T01:02:00.000+08:00

Even The Best Fall Down,

Sometimes

Life has been pretty manageable.. Or should I say, I have mastered the art of time management!

Had lessons from 11 to 4 and then work from 5pm to 1am on Monday, worked from 2pm to 1am on Tuesday, had school from 9am-5pm and then work from 6pm-1am yesterday. It's finally Thursday-- No school, no work and I have been working on my reports since 11 this morning.. I am almost done! I feel so accomplished, I'm sure I'll sleep better tonight. Tomorrow finally sweeps in Friday! I hope I don't make silly mistakes at work later.. Friday night and everyone is expected to turn evil and nasty at work tomorrow. I really do not wish to upset or piss anyone off.. Especially Daing! Gotta stay composed and firm.. Becca boleh!

Tomorrow's Judgment Day.. I hope everything's going to be alright. Pray I won't get punished for something I had no intention of doing. I wouldn't say that I've been maligned.. Wait, I can't even. Ah forget it, go figure, I shan't talk too much about it publicly it's unhealthy.

I miss the team and good old friends.. Sigh I haven't mastered the art of time management afterall.. Wait for me dear friends I won't take long to master it!

P.S. Syazana, if you're reading this.. I'm glad we're cool. Back to the old days real soon k?

2011-11-27T23:35:00.004+08:00

BEEN B.Z!

With what, you wonder. With work, with school, with projects and sleep. So worn out.. But hey, at least being busy and tight keeps my mind away from a lot of unnecessary stuff. Thank God for B.Z!

Wait. Not too busy.. I have time for a picture!

Best caption wins a high-five with Yours Truly..

No chance.. I win. Did you not know that Beckah Bec's the boss? KNOW IT.

2011-11-25T12:23:00.002+08:00

I must be strong.

2011-11-24T17:26:00.000+08:00

I'd give up anything I love
To salvage what we've lost.
But it is just impossible
To undo the hurt you have caused.

Girlfriend. I wouldn't trade that label for the world. But..

2011-11-23T00:15:00.000+08:00

Predator and Prey

Silent whispers through the night,
beneath the veil of the moonlight.
And I am haunted by the memories,
of all your mistakes and endless stories.

The memories play like a film without sound,
my very own soul lost and unfound.
You tore me apart and then fixed me back,
but what remains is the noose around my neck.

I am still helplessly lying here,
suppressed by all my deepest fears.
Why appear when you know you will leave?
You are one I can see but cannot seize.

But your presence still lingers here
unable to set you free from my heart is my fear.
This pain almost brinks on pleasure,
suffocation; maybe my love's measure.

I will never forget come what may,
the fiery dance between predator and prey.

Why hello pillow, you're going to be pretty wet tonight.

2011-11-21T10:27:00.000+08:00

Becca: I just did a Bloody Mary sial!
Dev: Ya and this is so going on your blog.

This post is for the ah neh at work.. I did a Bloody Mary at work last night.

2011-11-19T00:30:00.001+08:00

I had a pretty eventful Friday.. What a way to invite a weekend..

Something beyond horrible happened to me for the first time last night..Half a day has passed. Yet, I am still in great disbelief. All I can say right now is, No more next time. Like I always believe, some people learn things the hard way. I just happen to be one of them.. As much as I am wholly regretful for the wrongdoing I have done, as much as I really believe it shouldn't and wouldn't have happened had I been more careful and less selfless, I have learnt from a very valuable lesson which no amount of money or time can buy. I do not wish to point fingers at anyone or make someone else shoulder all blame and responsibility.. I just hope people start taking responsibility for their own actions and not drag other innocent souls into the trouble they have landed themselves in..

I am feeling pretty revengeful now.. Let's hope I do not come up with dark ideas to bring you down.. Much lower than where you brought me. You should start praying for my forgiveness.. Do pray hard.

2011-11-18T03:16:00.001+08:00

Time check: 310AM

Work was pretty manageable and fun.. Chose the right day to start, didn't I! Had I chosen to start last night or tomorrow night, I'm sure I'd be more of a hindrance than a help. I just rushed a school assignment which is due at 5pm tomorrow afternoon.. My eyes are barely open.. And I'm gonna have to pry my eyes open at 630am later..

GOODNIGHT GOODNIGHT

2011-11-16T00:41:00.001+08:00

SCDF boys.. Why wasn't I on the field when the bees came! Double damn!

I got home pretty late last night.. And had 14 of my friends provide me with wake up calls this morning. I feel so loved.. Ha! Dragged my heels to school with a sulk on my face. I can't say this enough.. I hate school on Wednesdays and Fridays! 9am-5am with a two-hour break in between tutorials and a lecture.. Are you kidding me?! There won't be MRSH lecture this Friday and that means I'm gonna have 4 hours of break in between MRSH tutorial at 11am and EBA tutorial at 3pm. Fuck my friday!

Today, unlike normal Wednesdays, my break was put to good use. Studied a little at the clubhouse before heading to Block 73 for BMM lecture. Yes I studied a little, believe your eyes! However, I had a hard time trying to keep my eyes open and back straight during BMM lecture, especially when the lecturer had us watch some branding video for 50 minutes.. The quiz after the screening sure tickled me hard.. Don't know why. The questions were so amusing.. BMM tutorial went well..

The venue of the Polympic Netball games was changed to the Admin Field beside the street soccer court.. Deem yourself stupid if you happen to be wondering why.. The bees, that's why! The netball games today were nasty and evil.. I hate muddy fields remember! The bunch headed to Bukit Timah Market for supper thereafter.. I ordered Hokkien Prawn Mee and received Hokkien Shrimp Mee.. The prawns were pathetically small.. So drinking session with the butches of the west got cancelled.. I shall count on Friday or Saturday. Did I mention that next week's E-learning week? Assignments to be done at home.. Which also means.. No school for the whole of next week! Life is good.. For now.

It's my first day of work as a barmaid tomorrow! The thought of it excites me already.. I hope I won't get disappointed. Press on, Becca!

2011-11-15T14:47:00.010+08:00

Stranger: Err.. My friend want your number can?
Becca: Sorry, I don't do strangers.

Nurul: Oi Bec! Did you just tell him you don't do strangers?
Becca: Ya?! You will give your number to strangers meh!
Nurul: Kau cakap don't do strangers macam tak main strangers. So friends kau main ah?
Becca: What the fuck! Pun not intended sia tadi!

I should stop playing with puns.

Monday started off pretty well in school yesterday.. It did feel like lessons took longer than usual because I was really impatient for school to end, to meet the annoying teammates, spend hours squabbling and bickering about really trivial issues in the clubhouse, to get changed into our soccer gears and attend the last training of the season.. Or rather, the final training for all the Year 3s.. I am getting emotional.. Then again, when am I never emotional?

Sadly, it started pouring as soon as everyone was about to get changed into our boots. We were at the Atrium for more than an hour and then decided on MacDonald's for dinner. Coach shared a number of ghost stories which left me in goosebumps! Wish I could share them here but I shouldn't try to recall the
stories..

I don't know if ghosts read blogs.

It's Tuesday! And we will be playing our final match at home today! Home sweet home, where the grass is really greener! I'm gonna have to paste an inch of tape over my nose piercing.. Or not. A part of me is praying for a heavy rain later.. Match gets postponed, team gets a few more trainings.. More time with the girls.. I am being very careful for what I wish for.. Rain over me, rain over me!

Yesterday, I was content. But today, but today, but today. I'm happy.

2011-11-14T01:16:00.000+08:00

(Insert text here)

2011-11-13T14:47:00.004+08:00

Haiiiiiiiiiii~

I didn't spend my Saturday doing nothing afterall. The relatives and cousins came over to our place for a family gathering in the afternoon where everyone had fried noodles, prata and chicken curry for tea.. I spent the rest of my afternoon editing the Marketing Research Report. So bloody proud of myself.. Headed opposite for dinner where we had too much to eat.. We had sharks fin soup, fried chicken wings, pineapple rice, dried beef hor fun, chilli crabs, brocolli and scallops, toufu on hot plates..

Made my way down to West Coast Market Square where Jingying, Gala, Thivya and Linmin were already gulping down mugs of beer. So much for "No alcohol until POL-ITE ends".. So five of us had seven bottles of beer and I continued with Bailey's at home alone.. Two more days to the end of POL-ITE.. Why is it so hard.. I don't know if we will drift apart but one thing for sure..

We should do what we did last night more often, gay boys!

2011-11-12T14:32:00.000+08:00

Thivya: Eh you not straight ah?
Becca: *rolls eyes* Do I look slanted to you?

For the final time, I love boys. But I might like girls who are handsome.

2011-11-11T00:25:00.003+08:00

Rebecca
is nothing but
a back-up plan

.. So be it.

2011-11-09T00:55:00.015+08:00

Fun Fact 101:
Once you pon, You can't stop

I have been attending lectures and tutorials without fail for the past three weeks and I skipped school for the first time this semester earlier today. Oh dear, this spells disaster.. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble..

So five of us from the team and a few other friends went for our first round of netball matches this evening. Ms Pillai stayed on after school to watch us play.. Sure, sweet of her.. Only until we were told by her to start losing just so we can all head off for dinner. Now we all know the dark side of Ms Pillai.. Pun intended.

We were in our NPFC (Ngee Ann Polytechnic Football Club) tops and nothing but noise pollution on the court. Some had a really hard time trying to man-mark in netball, others weren't able to estimate or control their strengths and ended up throwing the ball over to the other third of the court.. Most of us faced difficulty defending the game without using body contact on our opponents.. There was this one time I clashed with two other players, fell on my back and had a boy fall over me on my stomach.. And I actually shouted for a penalty. Haaaaaa.. I am so unbelievable.. Believe it.

My parents and their siblings are chilling out on a cruise ship. The teammates are supposed to come over to my place for cupcakes but a pity, a pity.. They have school at 9am tomorrow. What about Rebecca, you wonder. Rebecca doesn't have lessons on Thursdays.. Therefore, in other words and as a result, everyone's invited to Yew Tee for a party.

Rhyme intended.

2011-11-08T01:13:00.002+08:00

We may have lost the battle,
but we need to stay focused on the war

From Thivya to you (From Thivya to Becca).

I think I've gotten to know you a lot better and my first impression was total bullshit. I'm just really scared we won't be close after POL-ITE. I don't need you to promise me anything, but just know that at this moment, you mean a lot to me.

Play well later. We'll emerge champions.

Love you.
08/11/11

2011-11-07T16:27:00.004+08:00

Announcement

Rebecca Fang has been hired as a barmaid at KPO! I hope this part-time job will last a few months.. I've got to admit.. More often than not, my interest in things is always short-lived. Tips to cure my short attention span. Anyone?

Played soccer with the boys I grew up with at Pioneer last night.. Oh how I love playing soccer at the void decks barefoot! I call it the kampong style..

Woke up early for netball and soccer training this morning. Jingying, Fad, Shankari, Marissa and I have joined forces with a few others to participate in this year's Polympics. I have not played netball for donkey's years now.. I couldn't help but feel a little weird and misplaced on the netball court. Anyhow, anyhow and one more anyhow, I prefer soccer to netball. I can't picture myself in a netball bib anymore.. I prefer the studs, the boots, the bulky shin guards under knee-high socks and an over-sized set of jersey. And an artificial turf like the one we have at Ngee Ann, of course..

Soccer training was really horrible under the hot scorching sun! I am all roasted and tanned already.. Had lunch with the bunch at KAP thereafter..

Becca: Thivya, can I ask you a serious question?
Thivya: *Doubtful look* No!
Becca: No really. I want to ask you a serious question.
Thivya: What!
Becca: Will Indians pray to the elephants they see when they go visit the zoo?
Thivya: Ya?!
Becca and Jingying: Seriously?!
Thivya: Ya la of course la! You think what?!

Have you ever wondered?

2011-11-06T10:56:00.001+08:00

Hari Raye Haji Special

Who's the boss?

I am.

2011-11-05T11:54:00.000+08:00

By a little kid? No.. Some 21 year old drew this for me! So cute ^^

The cramps won't go away.. I need trucks and trucks of chocolates to kill the pain. The darker the better.. It's a Saturday and I've opted to stay indoors to complete my part of the Marketing Research Report due next Friday. Don't want to rush it at the eleventh hour since next week's going to be packed with soccer trainings, meetings and job interviews. I can do this.. I can totally do this. I'll be done with school in the blink of an eye.. Becca boleh!

Can't wait to visit a good buddy's house for Hari Raye Haji tomorrow. I hope the house will be packed with cute little kids in baju kurong..

Meh sini~

2011-11-04T02:12:00.005+08:00

The Bloody Week of November,
Day Two

Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Except that it isn't blood of guilt from a case of murder but the case of a Bleeding Sister. *Purrr~

It's the time of the month, yet again. Went to school in a pair of tight, high-waisted denim shorts.. It has a vertical row of buckles in front and I wore it because.. I figured I'm going to need warmth and a tight wrap on my stomach more than usual today.

I was at the Atrium with Jingying, Shankari, Marissa and Fadhilah when Little Miss Purr wouldn't stop bleeding. And in the process, I told myself that I am going to save myself the trouble of having to change a pad, especially when my belongings were at the Clubhouse, located at the other end of the school. So I decided to sit on the toilet bowl and let Little Miss Purr bleed her fill. I was in the toilet for about thirty minutes and finally left because I nearly dozed off on the seat. I don't want to story-tell too much, but the cramps were getting worse by the minute and I had to cab home. Lucky for me, tutorial from 3-5pm got cancelled.

Here comes the important part.. I was in such enormous and great pain but I kept refusing to take the panadol pills each and every time my friends tell me to pop two pills to ease the pain. And here's why. The more panadol pills you take, the lesser your threshold for pain. In other words, the more you take, the lesser your endurance level for pain. So if you keep taking panadol pills, you're gonna need something way stronger when you're much older.. What, morphine?

Say Yes To Pain!
Say No To Panadols!

2011-11-03T13:21:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday morning, a Multi-Level Marketing (aka MLM) company called and invited me down to their office at Bugis for a chat. For the record, I have never taken an interest in MLM companies especially when they adopt the hierarchy system.. You work under someone and then after a period of time, you rope a line of people in to work under you.. That line of people under you rope their own line of people in.. The pyramid gets huger with time.. You get my drift. Sure, they have car incentives and what-not but I just don't like how these companies work. Not appealing at all!

But since my specialization in school this semester's in Marketing, I thought to myself, "Why not!" I could make use of my learning points and observations gathered from this company for the Sales Marketing project due 3rd January.. *evil laugh*

But of course, I was very frank with the manager:

Jessie: Are you ready to start?
Becca: Do you mind if I jot down notes while you speak?
Jessie: Huh?! Why!!
Becca: I have this marketing project in school.. And I just want to learn more about MLM..
Jessie: Will you join us?
Becca: How about we help each other? I'll help you and you help me with my project.
Jessie: Ok, deal.. You have my word. I'll help you attain an A. You must join us.

Before the Sales Marketing lecture, I approached the lecturer and asked if I could use this particular MLM company for the individual project. Horror of all horrors, fear of all fears, he shook his head and said, "I don't want any MLM companies.. All of them are salespeople. You need to interview a Sales Manager who has at least two salespeople under him.." I felt my shoulders drop and then tried once more, "What about a logistics company which does 3PL, warehousing, transportation, distribution, air and sea freight, exports and imports..." "Yes, you can use logistics companies, Rebecca. Yes you can. Go ahead. You seem to love Supply Chain a lot!" Yes bro, I love!

I have been ignoring (Jessie and her associate)'s messages and calls since last night and just called Kumar from Ryder Logistics, the Service Operations Manager of the company I was attached to last September. And he gave me James' number. James is the Sales Marketing Manager of Ryder-Ascent Logistics and he has agreed to meet me next Thursday.

Please be cute, James!

2011-11-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

I had a really long day.

No difficulty waking up this morning. But I faced a great deal of difficulty trying to keep awake throughout the entire day in school. Started with more than 3 hours of Marketing Communications tutorial from 9am. And then less than an hour of break. And then Brand and Marketing Management lecture from 1 to 3.. And then Brand and Marketing Management tutorial from 3 to 5. 8 hours of school every Wednesday and Friday. Seriously? Fuck!

My left knee is scratched and bruised from last night's match and my shoulders are so sore, I took more than two minutes and a yelp of pain to unbuckle my bra earlier. My maid just rubbed my back and told me that I have a few more scratches on my back. I am so badly hurt.. I deem myself unfit for school on Friday..

Did I mention how much I hate the school bus stop after 5? Well, I hate the school bus stop after 5.

2011-11-01T20:20:00.004+08:00

NP'S VICTORY

5-0

We were sent for war on a muddy and uneven field last night. The field was so muddy, I wouldn't stop squealing each and every time the gooey mud stains my purple Nike Mercurial Vapor VII.. Ah Zhen heard me and told me to get used to the dirt and mud or she'll throw me into the hugest puddle after the match. So I started taking deep breaths whenever my boots got dirty and squealed deep within my soul instead. Y'know, there was a mission to prevent dirty water and mud from getting on my jersey and shorts but I aborted the mission right after the ball landed on my right thigh in the third minute of the game..

I know I should stop rambling but the field was in a horrible state last night! It wasn't even near decent for soccer matches. I must say it would be perfect for mudskippers though.. So everyone fought really hard and earned this victory. I played striker competitively for the first time in my life last night and got blown for off-side position twice. I was too busy chasing after the ball, trying my best to scare my opponents from behind and running for second-balls I forgot to work for my yellow card. Damn! Am working towards it.. Why, I miss playing as left mid-field!

What is it? No, I didn't score.

2011-10-31T00:14:00.004+08:00

DEAR NPFC '11

Be fortified and standing by, my girls.
No more hanging over the back fence and tittle-tattle.

We've played this game scores of time.
Triumph surges in our blood,
Strength of mind in our psyche.

See the inferno burning in our eyes.
And replay victories in our minds.

Love, Becca

2011-10-30T01:00:00.002+08:00

One of these days the sky's gonna break
and everything will escape and I'll know
One of these days the mountains are gonna fall into the sea
and they'll know
That you and I were made for this
I was made to taste your kiss
We were made to never fall away
Never fall away

One of these days letters are gonna fall from the sky
telling us all to go free
But until that day I'll find a way to let everybody know
'cause you're coming back, you're coming back for me
'Cause even though you left me here I have nothing left to fear
These are only walls that hold me here

2011-10-29T13:49:00.002+08:00

Are your toes wiggling in excitement??!!?

Training yesterday was nothing but joy, fun and laughter. Oh! Joy, fun, laughter and two containers of Indian cookies from Gurvin and Thivya.. The chocolate ones were really good! We should organize a pot luck party real soon. Can't wait for training on Monday.. Thivya has promised to bring Indian Curry. Went drinking with the people I love thereafter.. It has been a while and I had a great time with my loved ones last night. I miss them already..

Before I forget, Happy Halloween everyone! I hope there won't be any slashing this year.. If I was to celebrate Halloween, I'd be Princess Jasmine! But I'm gonna be Rebecca today.. Got a relative's wedding to attend. I'll do some slashing with props next year!

I have to be happy, come what may.

2011-10-28T13:59:00.000+08:00

At lecture.. Two boys from the back of the lecture theatre picked up their bags and made a beeline for the door.

Lecturer: Wah.. Going off?
Boy 1: Ya, stomach ache ah cher
Lecturer: Oh stomach ache.. Both of you got stomach ache at the same time..

That sure tickled me. The lecturer took it so lightly! I remember lecturers daring students to leave the lecture theatres whenever it got too noisy at lecture. No one would move.. And there would be silence. At least for a few minutes..

And then Yuming and I took our cigarettes and made our beeline for the door.

2011-10-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

My bestbutchfriend Tay Jingying scored a goal at the friendly match against SMU earlier today. Siti Humairah assisted my assistance to Tay Jingying's goal.

I am so proud of my bestbutchfriend.

2011-10-26T01:13:00.000+08:00

I had a great day:
It was raining cats and dogs earlier this afternoon and Eunice came to look for me with an umbrella.

I had a great evening:
I scored a goal at the very-friendly-match today.

I had a fucking bad night:
You, of all people, ruined it.

2011-10-25T02:03:00.000+08:00

I steel myself to play.
But it's hard not to get emotional.
It's a very moving call.

Pre-menstrual mood swings got the better of me today. I was highly irritable and grumpy at training just now.. I feel terribly ashamed of myself..

This afternoon, I had a really weird dream and you were in it. People say that when someone appears in your dream, it's because that person misses you. I'd say, if I have been appearing in your dreams lately, then what people say about dreams is likely to be true. Because I have been thinking about you a lot lately and it is driving me nuts. One thing for sure, I gotta pull myself together while you're away..

I am still very much ashamed of myself. I should disappear and never return.

2011-10-24T01:01:00.000+08:00

Training was really fine but I got really flat during training just now. I shouldn't have ran from Yew Tee to Bukit Panjang and then back last night. But I had a very good run on my own. I should engage in more night runs! I get to seek my solace, clear my mind and allow my legs to bring me across roads and past billboards around the estate. I should spend more time with myself..

Was on bus 67 and on my way to Choa Chu Kang Interchange from KAP when the back tire of the bus deflated. I had to lug my heavy bag and laptop to Teck Whye LRT Station, alight at Choa Chu Kang and then take the train to Yew Tee. Oh wait, I have not included the 10 minute walk home. My arms are sore from the weight of the laptop, my right shoulder is numb from the weight of my enormous bag and my legs are achy from last night's run, today's training and the long walk back home.

I am dead beat.

2011-10-23T21:57:00.000+08:00

"Allah akan hancurkan hati orang yang Dia sayang berkali kali sehingga tiada harapan untuk dunia ini. Yang ada hanya harapan untuk Dia sahaja. Bagi yang mencari cinta Allah bersedialah menerima hakikat ini"

Please give me more than I can handle. Please help me face hardship to grow tougher.

2011-10-22T00:45:00.000+08:00

"When Allah knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances. Wait patiently. Don't waste your time searching and wishing. Grow and be ready, you'll see Allah will give you a love story far better than you could ever dream of."

Hope.

2011-10-21T01:17:00.006+08:00

Coach: Whoa! How come Rebecca can kick so well today!
Becca: Oh.. I never wear underwear today

Lecture was nothing but boring today. Even our lecturer agreed how dry and uninteresting Marketing Research is. Sure, it does bring good money but I wouldn't want to spend the next ten to twenty years of my life producing surveys and then analysing them. Its pure boredom! I really want to fly a plane. Please accept me, Air Force! I have perfect eyesight..

Training today was really good. Besides the good attendance from the team, Coach had us do really fun and cool soccer drills. And I am really proud of myself! You should have seen the ball swerve to the top left corner of the goal post last night.. I was exhilarated! The downside of being able to kick properly, however, is having huge and manly calf muscles. I shall make a huge sacrifice since my soccer life in Ngee Ann is coming to an end. Ha!

This semester's going to be really tough but I gotta hang in there! Only three more months to the end of my polytechnic life. I have to press on.. Life has been good. I have been receiving boxes of chocolates. I might not be happy but I am definitely content.

2011-10-20T11:52:00.008+08:00

What ever happened to this?

2011-10-19T01:19:00.002+08:00

Where ">" = "is better than",

Happiness > Love
Being Loved > Loving Someone
Laughter and Smiles > Loving Someone/ Love

Anyhow... Lecture on Brand and Marketing Management earlier this afternoon was really fun. I think I might like Marketing afterall. Oh yes! Really thankful that we won't have to do integrated projects this semester! The integrated projects from the previous semester almost killed us all.

I should hit the sheets in a bit. Can't wait for training tomorrow evening!

2011-10-18T01:07:00.002+08:00

If you're reading this, Natalie! I can't wait for Magnum icecream and lunch with you, Cheryl and Wawa tomorrow. Missed you so, dear lifeguard!

Did not manage to wake up on time for the 9am lecture on EBA. A very bad start to EBA this semester! Not that I care anyway... Had Marketing Communications at 11am this morning. Lecturer came in with two large bags of chips and gave them out to those who answered her questions at lecture. Not that I love chips anyway... Anyhow, I went back home for a nap before heading back to school for football. So NAPFA test for the team was cancelled and before training on field, we had a short meeting with both Edmund and Coach Ah Zhen concerning commitment from the Women's Soccer Team.

It is pretty evident that the current team is no longer like before. I know we all have our own commitments; school projects, family matters, relationship matters, part-time work and what-not... I just don't want to see Edmund close down the Women's Soccer Team. I'm at my final year in school and the POLITE competition this year could very well be the last soccer competition I will be participating in. I don't even want to see the team close down upon our graduation. It's really sad. Fingers crossed, I hope that the full squad will turn up for the friendly against AMK FC @ NUS tomorrow evening. I love football. I love my school team. I don't want to see it close down. Like Coach Stephen and Coach Ah Zhen, I too have great, enormous faith in our team.

Guess I'll pray a little harder before turning in tonight!

2011-10-17T12:48:00.002+08:00

Back to school! Sadly, without a new school bag..

2011-10-15T15:56:00.000+08:00

I'll blog tonight.

2011-10-02T19:14:00.000+08:00

Greetings from Vietnam!

All's not well. I can't wait to return to Singapore :(

2011-09-26T16:21:00.001+08:00

1. Party while working @ Amber Lounge
2. To Cambodia/ Vietnam tomorrow afternoon

For now, more sleep and less angst.

2011-09-26T00:29:00.000+08:00

Time Check: 12:20AM

Aunty: Reena cakap mau hug Jiejie before go to school tomorrow morning
Reena: Tsk Aunty! I scared I forget to hug you.
Becca: Aww?!?
Aunty: Just now Reena say Jiejie go she sad. She very sad.
Reena: Oi Aunty~~! You very big mouth!
Aunty: Nevermind la don't malu malu, Jiejie only.

Ma, Reena and Aunty just helped me with my checklist. I'm good to go! Pa is drinking whiskey and I'm drinking Bailey's. I'll sleep in a bit.

Xin chao, mai mot gap lai (Goodbye, we'll meet again soon)!

2011-09-24T13:49:00.006+08:00

Time check: 1:56PM

Haven't been able to sleep into noon for the past few days but today, but today! Training was cancelled and I got to sleep in on a lovely Saturday. Woke up to a long and deep scratch mark above my navel. I must have scratched myself while in deep sleep.

I haven't been able to find my bankbook despite having rummaged through the shelves, the heaps and heaps of trash, and the drawers for the past few days. Was very much fed up to the back teeth. But today, but today! I finally found my bankbook in the pretty mooncake box from Goodwood Park. The discovery of a long lost item has made me sanguine in mood and optimistic about work later tonight! Had seafood soup for brunch and Reena mumbling facts on Social Studies beside me. She sat up from her lying position all of a sudden:

Reena: Jie, I don't have double eyelids leh you also don't have right?
Becca: I also don't have! Our eyelids are super single.
Reena: Not fair, my friends say I cheena! So bad.
Becca: What the hell...
Reena: But Kim says I have double eyelids. Its just overlapped by my single eyelid.
Becca: What?!
Reena: I think we slept too much when we were babies.

The family will be going out for dinner tonight and I'm going to miss it. If the family's going to have pork chop for dinner, I won't feel sore about skipping dinner. But if Pa decides to have cold crabs at Selegie, I'm going to make him bring a cold crab home for me for breakfast tomorrow morning. Pa just offered plums. I hate fruits.

Dad: Becca, eat plums.
Becca: I don't want eeee
Dad: Stupid!
Becca: I don't want!
Dad: Stu to the pid!
Becca: Where got father say own daughter stupid one, so bad!
Dad: Stu to the pid you!

Work starts at 7pm and is expected to end at 7am tomorrow. It's going to be a long night! My maid just asked me which luggage bag she should bring out from the highest cupboard in my room and reminded me to pack. I almost forgot that I'll be flying off to Cambodia on the 27th and it's the 24th already. I'll pack on Monday!

Have a great Saturday!

2011-09-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

Work was really tiring, especially when we had nothing much to do today. Clocked in at 1pm but work started only after long hours of training and waiting, slightly after 6pm, where we were tasked to polish cartons of champagne flutes. We clocked out so much later than expected, at 930pm. The long train ride home was torturous. My back, shoulders and legs are aching very badly. I should stop complaining but really, all I need is a good massage.

You know, the Amber Lounge is pretty damn awesome. I've never seen any pub or lounge like it. Can't wait for work at 7pm tomorrow! Hamilton... ... ...

2011-09-22T01:23:00.001+08:00

I miss my long wavy hair! This was taken at Porpor's funeral in April. And that's Angus. By the way, took me a bit of courage to upload this picture. I look so horrible without make-up. Eyes on the hair!

Had a really hard time getting up from bed this morning. We had salmon heads for lunch! Went to Ayer Rajah Crescent to redeem a black camcorder and then I tagged along with Mom to work. Upon reaching Mom's workplace, I got hungry again. Went downstairs, took a really long time to decide on what to eat because I was spoilt for choice! Burger King, a long chain of shops with a variety of dishes to go with rice, Mee Siam, Mee Soto... And I finally decided on a packet of chicken rice. I paid $4.80 for a packet of awful chicken rice. It was really tasteless and only the soup tasted good. No more next time! Mom bought us a bar of chocolates each and then we had fried brinjals for tea.

Trimmed my eyebrows at one of the shops nearby and then headed back to Mom's workplace for a short nap. Left International Plaza at around 5 and headed to school for soccer training thereafter. Training was really tiring but I felt pretty accomplished when training finally ended after a number of abs exercises. Had macaroni and cheese, a chicken sandwich and a carton of Nutrisoy for dinner.

I'm starting to miss someone. I need sleep...

2011-09-21T00:52:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 11am this morning, gobbled down my brunch, took a quick shower, got changed and left home. Initial plan was to meet Jingying at Promenade station at 130pm, but we were early and decided to take a quick meal at JustAcia @ Dhoby Exchange before heading to Conrad. And then we walked to Conrad from Promenade Station. It took us really long to locate Conrad and Jingying's Google Map kept failing us. Finally got to Conrad but it took us a while to locate the venue of our training.

So the Amber Lounge is too costly a place to drink, party and chill. Like Euro 15,000 for a table of 8! Anyway, the training ended earlier than expected and while we were making our way out of Conrad Hotel, we saw Lewis Hamilton and another not-as-popular F1 driver walking towards the entrance of the hotel. I tried really hard to control my excitement but... I couldn't! His friend and the other passers-by make him look like a god walking amongst mere mortals hahaha! He is really cute.

Can't wait for Saturday and Sunday to come. I want a closer look at Hamilton!

2011-09-20T01:08:00.000+08:00

Training was really evil today.

1. Warm up
2. 1.5KM
3. Stairs (4 sets)
4. Butt-firming exercise (6 sets)
5. Stairs (3 sets)
6. Stairs (3 sets)

Considering how very nasty training was, I'm actually really glad my calves did not cramp today. It took my calves more than three days to recover from its fits during last Thursday's match. No more cramps, please.

I am lying on my stomach right now and I can hardly feel my buttocks. My poor, poor buttocks. I hope its true what they say about "You reap what you sow". Intensive trainings like this better come with benefits and rewards! Just in case the rewards don't come, I figured I should reward myself by having Creamy Chicken from Pastamania after training. And so I did! Got home, took longer than normal to clear my bowels. Why? Because my buttock muscles are tired and numb from training.

I didn't get to watch BFF on Suria just now. Final episode! :(

2011-09-19T03:59:00.006+08:00

My week was spent like this (As Far As I Recall):

Monday-Wednesday:
Not that I remember.

Thursday:

Had a soccer match with ISA. Was relieved when my name was not mentioned for any of the midfield positions and then got a really nasty shock when Coach assigned me to the position I have never played before- a combination of a Striker and Centre Midfield. How was it, you wonder... I had the worst calf cramps ever and it wasn't just one calf. It was both calves! While my calf muscles were expanding, I was screaming at the top of my voice. While I was in great pain, the kind-hearted referee stood before me akimbo. Seriously, ref?? Feeling all helpless, I screamed, "Help me push my foot inwards!" All he could manage was, "I can't touch you, sorry I can't touch you." I was at death's door and you rejected me flatly? I asked you to push my foot inwards, not caress my body.

Friday:
The school sent a text message with my results for the previous semester pretty early in the morning. I blinked thrice and then was ascertained that the A+ on my mobile screen is real. Screamed out for my mother from my bed and asked her how much an A+ is worth. She said 50 bucks, I accepted 20 bucks. Had to rush out of home to get the typhoid vaccination for the upcoming Vietnam trip. Our family doctor told me that I need to stop losing weight. I told him that its inevitable, considering how high Singapore's standard of living is. He chuckled and told my mother I might need more vitamins. Oh no no no, no vitamins. Unless they can give me more boob fats. Got home, logged onto Mel and my GPA for the previous semester made me really happy. In less than a month, the next and final semester of school would sweep in. Surprisingly, I am pretty impatient for school to resume.

Saturday and Sunday:

Went Jalan Raye with the boys I grew up with. I really miss playing soccer at the void decks with them. Their shaven heads annoy me quite a bit though. Went grocery shopping with Ma and then we settled for dinner at some Hong Kong Café.

Think I'm gonna be busy with soccer training and work at the F1 event this coming week. Busy's good. But you know what's even better? The upcoming Cambodia/Vietnam Trip with 29 other coursemates. 12 days away from all the mess and drama in Singapore is what I need most right now. I need to leave this place!

2011-09-17T04:07:00.000+08:00

I'm fine! Really!

2011-09-16T13:26:00.000+08:00

We touch, I feel a rush, we clutch, it isn't much
But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us
It's lust, it's torturous, you must be a sorceress
'Cause you just did the impossible, gained my trust

Don't play games, it'd be dangerous if you fuck me over
'Cause if I get burnt, I'ma show ya what it's like to hurt
'Cause I've been treated like dirt befo' ya
And love is evil, spell it backwards, I'll show ya

Nobody knows me, I'm cold, walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own, it's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow, I show no emotion whatsoever, so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these mo'fuckin' ho's

Blood suckin' succubuses, what the fuck is up with this?
I've tried in this department, but I ain't had no luck with this
It sucks, but it's exactly what I thought it would be
Like tryin' to start over

I've got a hole in my heart for some kind of emotional roller coaster
Somethin' I won't go on, so you toy with my emotions, ho, it's over
It's like an explosion every time I hold ya, I wasn't jokin' when I told ya
You take my breath away, you're a supernova and I'm a

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you, right at you
250,000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aimin' right at you, right at you, right at you

I'll do whatever it takes, when I'm with you I get the shakes
My body aches when I ain't, with you I have zero strength
There's no limit on how far I would go, no boundaries, no lengths
Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks
Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em, it's never the same?

You want 'em when they don't want you
Soon as they do, feelings change
It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate
I wasn't lookin' when I stumbled onto you, musta been fate

But so much is at stake, what the fuck does it take?
Let's cut to the chase
'Fore the door shuts in your face, promise me if I cave in and break
And leave myself open that I won't be makin' a mistake
'Cause I'm a

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you, right at you
250,000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aimin' right at you, right at you, right at you

So after a year and 6 months, it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much, it hurts, never mistreated you once
I'll pour my heart out to you, let down my guard, swear to God
I'll blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms

Drop to my knees and I'm pleadin', I'm tryin' to stop you from leavin'
You won't even listen so fuck it, I'm tryin' to stop you from breathin'
I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you, squeezin'
Til' I snap your neck like a Popsicle stick

Ain't a possible reason I can think of
To let you walk up out this house and let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks, then I let you go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple, I told you this

And I would've did anything for you to show you how much I adored you
But it's over now, it's too late to save our love
Just promise me you'll think of me
Every time you look up in the sky and see a star 'cuz I'm a

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aimin' right at you, right at you
250,000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you, without you, without you

2011-09-15T01:59:00.000+08:00

Blow your brains out, low-breed. Your outmoded thinking is destined for extinction anyway...

2011-09-09T13:28:00.000+08:00

"Worry is fantasy done poorly. It serves no value to anticipate things that may never happen. Yet worry remains one of the biggest energy-suckers today.

If I get an inkling of a worry, I think back ten years. I remember that most things that seemed so important then are not important now. Those old worries are just kind of funny today. Ten years from now, I recognize that many of today's concerns will be something I look back at and laugh. So, what am I waiting for? Why not laugh now? So, I laugh.

Whenever you find yourself overly focused on something that ties you up in a knot, look at it from some distant place. Recognize that it will be less important in the future. Appreciate that more than a billion people in China don't care about your great big concern."

2011-09-08T04:03:00.000+08:00

Fun Fact #1: Ignorance is bliss

So wise, Rebecca.

2011-08-23T01:26:00.002+08:00

BLOODY LONG HIATUS

2011-08-19T03:03:00.000+08:00

Becca: Us. Away from each other for a while?
Bani: For a while? How a while?
Becca: A week. A month. A few months. A year?
Bani: I tak tahu la sayang
Becca: Then I'll just leave you until you come back
Bani: I'll come back tmrw
Becca: I wasn't kidding.
Bani: I wasn't too

2011-08-18T17:42:00.000+08:00

Stranger: Do you have a boyfriend?
Becca: Yes.
Stranger: What's his name?
Becca: Bani.
Stranger: He's a muslim?!
Becca: Yeah, Bani Tarmidzi.
Stranger: Wow look at that glow on your face! You're in love!
Becca: Really you can see that? What glow!
Stranger: That glow when you tell me his name. You're in love.

I AM? So people can tell... ...

2011-08-16T01:05:00.003+08:00

YA YOU PRETTY, SO WHAT! CHALLENGE AH HANDWRITING!

The fact that "God takes something away from you just so He can offer you something better" proves that I am better than all of you already. Big boobs, big eyes, big bottom- so what! God placed me after all of you, so I am better than each and every one of you. In all aspects. I DON'T CARE.

Geddit?!!

2011-08-12T05:28:00.001+08:00

Dear Becca,

We'll meet today okay? we'll be alright I promise.

Love, Bani

2011-08-12T01:21:00.001+08:00

After what happened earlier today, it has come to my realization that I could be the wrong one for you. Someone else will fit perfectly into your life; it just doesn't happen to be Rebecca Fang. Having me as your girlfriend could be the biggest mistake of, or the greatest mismatch in your life. I'm sorry, I don't know how else to make you happy or content but I'm sure that someone else can and will.

In a relationship, one is bound to love the other more. I happen to be the one who loves you more in our relationship; I happen to be the one who has more to offer. But its okay, because I know for sure that I already gave you all that I could afford to give. I did try my best, gave my best and in return, had the best time of my life with a person I truly love. I cannot deny that I will feel a great deal of sadness and miss you to tears every morning I wake up and every night I head to bed. But I had a journey with you; we had a chance together. When we were younger, we grew up with scratched elbows and bruised knees. Now that we're all grown ups, I guess we grow up with shattered hearts and broken promises.

I genuinely hope that you'll find someone who will be a perfect fit in your arms and life and I genuinely hope for the best for you in your life, your career and your future relationships. When the day we move on from each other comes, I hope you remember that I did love you. I still do- I always have. I am just too exhausted to keep this going. Truth be told, I don't know how I'm going to live without you in my life, especially when it has been one and a half years with you. But you were able to move on from your previous relationships and we will cross this hurdle with time.

I do not expect us to enter into each other's lives for a second shot at love in future, but I do believe that if two people are made for each other, they will find their way back together come what may. Thank you for everything, Bani.

Love,

Becca

formspring.me

2011-08-09T00:26:00.001+08:00

Hit me with your best shot! http://formspring.me/beccafang

2011-08-05T12:53:00.000+08:00

YOU ARE IN FOR A TREAT TODAY!

88888815457: SingTel Internet SMS: Apez has initiated an Internet SMS chat session with you. You can reply to the SMS within 20 mins to continue with the chat session.

Apez:Kena marah, kene maki, kene pukul, kene hina, cuma 1 cara sahaja yang boleh mengajar orang yang membuat demikian, adalah dengan sabar dan senyum...

Becca: Siapa ni? Apez mana? Tak ada hp number sendiri pe? Abeh kau hantar message gitu macam, apa maksod kau eh?

Apez:tk penting. yg penting, you sabar... nnti 1 hari you happy2.. tu pn kalao bani btl2 syg pt you lah.. if nt, move on. so many ppl love you

Apez:you there?

Becca: Thanks la eh mamat mana tah ni, untuk informasi yang tak guna. Effort, effort. Nanti satu hari InsyaAllah aku dapat carik korang yang suka jadi keyboard warrior sangat. Aku doadoakan je nanti Hari Raye korang dapat duit lebih beli prepaid, jadi korang boleh message pakai number sendiri. Tak ya nak reply nak message lagi k, pakai prepaid dah susah. Apa lagi pakai internet? Have a nice life k, aku harapan nanti satu hari korang sadar sama berhenti buat kerja macam gini. Assalamualaikum!

Apez:wateva la ehk have a nice life sume.. engkau lah have a nice life with bani tarmidzi!!!

Becca: Oh itu sudah tentu. Kau ni risau sangat apasal? Kelakar la orang macam kau ni. Sudah tu sudah la, k? Grow up! Aku dah malas nak penatkan diri. Penat la message2. Dah la kau boleh? Boleh belah!

Apez:FUCK YOU AND BANI!

Apez:,,i,,!!!!!!!!!!!

Apez:you will regret for loving bani.. MARK MY WORD!!!

Apez:reply uh siallll!

Apez:bani tk syg you la bodoh.. sadar lah !!!

Apez:okkkkk fine!!!!! i wish you all the best happy??!

Apez:im sorry.

Like...

??!?!??!?!!!??!!

2011-08-04T10:58:00.001+08:00

Credit card number pls

2011-08-02T23:54:00.001+08:00

Why are you making it so hard for me to love you?

Every time you do something mean and create the "Pushing Effect", I'd pull myself away from you to protect myself from getting more hurt. But as soon as I pull myself away from you, you'd apologise, do something nice and create the "Pulling Effect". Then, I'd push myself to you and the peace and love in our world would last for either a few good hours, a day or if I'm lucky, a few days. What will happen next, you wonder. Well, we'll return to the "Pushing Effect" from you. So predictable.

I have been studying the damn cycles of the business world in school and they are not that difficult to understand. In point of fact, I just did a little research on the Customer Relationship Lifeycle for tomorrow's test a while ago. It's theory makes a whole lot of sense. But your.. Your cycle is a horrible one. Nothing can assuage my sadness. Oh Chow from The Hangover might be able to cheer me up. Just maybe.

STOP IT. YOU'RE HURTING ME. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE HAPPY. I JUST WANT TO BE CONTENT. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? ANNOYING PRICK!!!!!!!!!

2011-07-31T00:31:00.001+08:00

In a few minutes, July would pass and August would sweep in.

July has been really torturing. With the horrible amount of research to do, a handful of projects and reports to complete, the crazy preparations for the upcoming integrated project presentation and the exams nearing by the day- complete madness! All three nights of my last weekend of July was spent at Home Club. I must say that it has been a really tiring and exhausting weekend, especially when I knock off at 330am, get home by 430am, catch as much sleep as possible and then force myself out of bed to head off to work at 1pm. I'm so glad the weekend's over.

Well there's an important presentation tomorrow afternoon and a Solutions Selling presentation on Tuesday morning. I have yet to print out the Letter of Intent and prepare myself well for Tuesday's Solutions Selling and it is driving me nuts. But I am positive that life will get much easier after the CRM paper on Wednesday morning. SQM paper next Monday, 2 weeks of study break, SLM paper on the 22nd of August and then SIS paper on the 24th followed by... Short-term freedom!

On a separate note, I did something for the first time this semester on Friday-- I attended SLM lecture. And that particular lecture I attended was the final lecture session for the semester. I can only say that I might start going for lectures next semester. Wait, next semester's going to be my last semester in school.

I hope?

Oh and Bani, if you're reading this. This is not going to be easy but we will make it. I love you.

2011-07-25T17:39:00.001+08:00

I'M TIRED..........................................

2011-07-20T19:19:00.001+08:00

More than a year ago, I was happier. I was not as skinny as I am right now. I weighed 46kg. I did not need to have make up on. I used to laugh and smile more than I frown and cry. My hair was highlighted in the most horrible colour. I don't club, I barely drink, I work at F&B firms like Billy Bombers and Suntec Convention Centre. I used to tap my card on the devices outside lecture theatres for attendance. I used to be richer and not smoke as much as I do right now.

At present, I admit I get knocked down more easily than before but I do have my happy moments, too. I weigh 42.4kg and am severely underweight to many. I need a concealer for my terrible eyebags, I feel better with a bit of blusher and on some days, the eyeliner. I frown and cry more often than not, but I still laugh whenever I'm with my friends and I mean it every time I laugh or smile. My hair is back to its natural brown, but chopped off and is much shorter than before. I club once in a while, and I really mean once in a while. I drink on occasions, on nights I feel like trash, on nights my father drinks gin, beer or hard liquor, or as and when I feel like it. I am working part-time as a door girl at Home Club on weekends. I don't tap my card on the devices outside lecture theatres for attendance because I don't attend lectures at all. I usually use up all my monthly allowance two days before the next month, two days before Papa would transfer the following month's allowance into my account. I smoke more than I used to, but am cutting down.

Yes. Things have changed. I might have changed. But at least I know how much I have changed. And at least I embrace the changes in my life and in me. And yes, I do miss how I was and how things were more than a year back. But if I were to tell myself to go back to who I was or go back to where I was, I'd be lost. I am comfortable like this and here now.

Well I almost forgot. This post is to no one. But everyone.

2011-07-19T01:02:00.000+08:00

(Upon finishing dinner)

Bani: Angkat! Hahaha! (Take the plates!)
Becca: What!
Bani: Angkat! (Take the plates!)
Becca: What the heck! I don't want to marry you already!
Bani: Hahahaha asal! (Why!)
Becca: So this is how you're gonna treat your wife in future? I don't want!
Bani: Hahahhaaha tak la tak la! (No la no la!)

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT!??!??!?!?!?!?!

2011-07-18T00:11:00.001+08:00

I feel terrible... ...

2011-07-11T00:25:00.005+08:00

Where's Bani? I don't see him in the queue. Hahahahahahahahahahhaahhaahaha

Three more days to seventeen months with the human dinosaur who was nothing to me. Was nothing to me. Letting someone into your life, letting butterflies, dragonflies and moths into your stomach, leaving your pillow wet on lousy nights, getting affected over something really trivial, replaying all the happy times you had with the person who used to be a stranger, or a friend all the fucking time- you think so easy, is it?

You think its fun to love someone so much? You think its cool to get insecure and jealous all the time? You think it is possible to avoid getting paranoid or worried when he replies your text late? You think its exciting to build a wall in between both you and your lover and then compromise to tear that wall down? You think unpredictability is challenging? Try the stock-market then.

People always say, "If you truly love someone, you should be happy." Not true, what. Love is not happy all the time. If you're truly happy hanging out with someone, does that necessarily mean you love that someone? No, what. You're just happy- you might not be in love, what. Now if you're in love with someone, will you be truly happy all the time? No, what. My parents love me but I have never been able to make them happy all the time. I don't know about you, but I sure wouldn't want to marry someone who can make me happy every day but whom I cannot fall in love with.

I rest my case.

2011-07-06T14:48:00.003+08:00

Look back. Was I happier or am I happier now? So much has changed- too much has changed.

2011-07-05T12:55:00.003+08:00

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me
But when it comes to love, you're just as blinded

2011-07-01T17:37:00.002+08:00

Eh please, not affected, please

2011-06-26T01:25:00.002+08:00

I don't think you're taking this very seriously. This isn't about the rubbing of backs. This is about fostering human altruism and learning to get along with one another and working together toward a common end, regardless of what direction your fickle emotions attempt to pull you in. In the case of romantic involvement, it is about making a commitment to a person that you know you can have a future with; it is about doing whatever it takes to keep that future alive and to keep that person at their best. It is not about following one's heart, because one's heart will lead you only in circles. It is about keeping your cool and sure, enjoying the euphoria, but determining whether or not there is anything deeper to it. If there is, then it becomes about making the necessary effort and exercising the necessary willpower to keep the symbiosis alive and well even when feelings falter, in fact, especially when feelings falter. It is only in the hardest of times that you will find out how much you really love someone.

When love is not easy, and it is not natural, will you love anyway?

2011-06-25T20:20:00.001+08:00

Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion.

Read more and clean less. Sit on the settee without worrying about anything and just relax. Spend more time with your family and friends and less at work. Money is to be spent not saved.

Life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. Do not keep anything; use crystal glasses every day. Wear new clothes to go to the supermarket if you feel like it. Don't save your special perfume for special occasions; use it whenever you want to. Go out with your friends whenever you want to rather than thinking you do not have the spare money or time.

The words 'Someday...' and 'One day...' are fading away from the dictionary. If it is worth seeing, listening or doing, see it, listen to it or do it now. Call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. Tell everyone you love how much you love them. Go have your favorite food.
Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.

2011-06-20T14:19:00.002+08:00

By the time you hear this I will have already spiralled up

I would never do nothing to let you cowards fuck my world up

If I was you, I would duck, or get struck like lightening,

Fighters keep fighting, put your lighters up, point em’ skyward uh

Had a dream I was king, I woke up, still king

This rap game’s nipple is mine for the milking,

Till nobody else even fucking feels me, till’ it kills me

I swear to god I’ll be the fucking illest in this music

There is or there ever will be, disagree?

Feel free, but from now on I’m refusing to ever give up

The only thing I ever gave’s using no more excuses

Excuse me if my head is too big for this building

And pardon me if I’m a cocky prick but you cocks are slick

Poppin shit on how you flipped ya life around, crock-o-shit

Who you dicks try to kid, flipped dick, you did the opposite

You stayed the same, cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks

I love it when I tell em shove it

Cause it wasn’t that long ago when Marshall sat, luster lacked, lustered

Cuz he couldn’t cut mustard, muster up nothing

Brain fuzzy, cause he’s buzzin’, woke up from that buzz

Now you wonder why he does it, how he does it

Wasn’t cause he had buzzards circle around his head

Waiting for him to drop dead, was it?

Or was it, cause them bitches wrote him off

Little hussy ass, cause f-ck it, guess it doesn’t matter now, does it

What difference it make?

What it take to get it through your thick skulls

As if this aint some bullshit

People don’t usually come back this way

From a place that was dark as I was in

Just to get to this place

Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage

And let it be known from this day forward

2011-06-16T13:26:00.002+08:00

KRABI DAY 1

Their donuts are pretty different from the ones we have here in Singapore. Very chewy. Really chewy and they taste pretty good. I'd say, two donuts to tire your teeth.

Rachel's favourite

Papa!

Reena and I

This cat is pretty scrawny. And the cats at Krabi reminded me of Black and Momok

Wish you were here with all of us, Porpor!

Singapore's so much warmer than Krabi.

Fang!

Sheraton Hotel. Commendable service and really good facilities!

The front porch of Sheraton

Hotel Shuttle Buggies to take us to our rooms. Its a pretty huge place and our rooms were a few blocks away from the front porch. Definitely not a walking distance. Service excellence! I like their buggy system.

The rooms are really huge. This is only 2/3 of the room. They even have the latest coffee mixer, which I did try to use and failed, horribly.

The 1/3 of the room. This picture only captured 1/5 of the toilet.

KRABI DAY 2

Some cave island. Its the one with dicks on the alter.

Really good scenery

Pa hardly smiles in pictures. He must really like Krabi!

There, I told you. Dicks on the alter.

All fifteen of us, Porpor!

Pa...

Ma!

One way to wear a cap.

Here's another

Reena

And they went snorkeling. Pa and I skipped this one. I don't like the idea of having salt in my hair or on my skin. I don't even swim!

Yong Jie and my favourite Yiyi, Jane~~~

Here's Elaina, Uncle George, Aunt Janet, Yong Chay, Vondra, Rachel and Ma. I think Reena's beside Ma in this one.

All jumbled up. Too lazy to post in order. And Blogger's being a bitch.

KRABI DAY 3

Rachel, Becca, Vondra and Xin Yi

Reena and Vondra

I don't have to repeat myself

This is Yong Chay and Fish Spa

This is one annoying prick from Thailand.

Aunt Evon, Uncle Bilson and Zavier

I hate the helmet.

Ok what's this. Fish Spa. All jumbled up again.

Taken before water rafting

I believe this was taken at the entrance of the place

Elephant trekking

An elephant kissed Rachel's arm with its trunk. Cute but quite smelly. I prefer trekking on a giraffe.

No.1 Entertainer. Very mischievous!

Plus Xin Yi, one raft

Waterfall, I think.

The man on the head of the elephant's a Burmese. May Oothin! You're a Na Bu!

Our sumo wrestlers having a Fish Spa

That's Zavier's bottle.

Back to reports and schoolwork. Why is happiness always so short-lived... ...

2011-06-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

2011-06-07T20:57:00.000+08:00

Reena: Oh my god oh my god! Jie!
Becca: What!?
Reena: Can you buy a Macdonald's meal and upsize it by today please please please!
Becca: Why?!
Reena: Today's the last day for the pink coca cola glass I want the glass.
Becca: What the hell!
Reena: I drink more water with that glass. It feels like I'm actually drinking coke.

Macdonald's? Well done.

The family and the extended family of Aunts, Uncles and cousins will be flying to some island in Thailand this Sunday morning. I can't wait to leave this little dot for the beaches and some beach soccer! My life has been pretty fine, I guess. I guess, I guess... ... I guess.

2011-06-04T01:43:00.006+08:00

When I was younger, I used to cry over bruised knees and light scratches. I don't even cry when my muscles cramp up during football trainings or matches anymore. Bad grades, bad hair days, pressure and stress from school and life, failed friendships- whatever. They don't make me cry anymore. I'm twenty, and right now, at present, only a human dinosaur can make me cry.

I have never been in a relationship before you. All the boys I used to like, the boys I used to be infatuated with. Oh he's so cute oh he's so adorable oh he just texted me oh he just called me oh! He just asked me out! And oh! He held my hand! He gave me a hug! He complimented me! All of that, I would regard as nothing but cheap thrills. The thought of how crazy I used to be disgusts me. And then Cupid shot you and me... ...

I'll continue some other day. I have a paper to sit for tomorrow morning. Wish me luck, I wish you a good weekend. This blog is lacking images... ...

Broad shoulders for my head please!